Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Know that everything I do; I do it for you.
I'd like to lie and tell myself everything's normal. I'd like to forget everything bad that happened between us. I wish... I wish nothing happened. I wish we would talk like we used to. Sadly...
Life is all about making choices. I guess I made the wrong choice that fateful night.
I wish you'd forgive and forget, yet i'm fully aware... Forgiving and forgetting isn't easy. I say that, because I myself, find it hard to even forgive someone for tresspassing against me, not to mention forget about anything that happened.
A friend mentioned to me that Faith is what holds people together. Faith... Is it really that simple to believe? Keep holding on to your beliefs, and one day, with a glimpse of hope, they might come true. I'd like to believe that someday you'd understand my intentions. Someday you'd forgive me. Someday we'd go back to how we used to be. Yet... I can't find it in myself to believe for now. I feel so... Pathetic. To have been reduced to such a state. Pathetic, Lester.
Bah, enough of the emo stuff. Trip to Seoul, Korea's been confirmed. My application for leave was successful. Leave a tag if you wish me to buy anything. As long as it's within budget, i'll do my best.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
3:39 PM
Monday, October 22, 2007
an angel;for one moment of love.
The blinking cursor never seems to fail to irritate me. Heh.
I've only had 2 feelings of late. The first, the feeling that i'm having a moment of temporal liberation(No, i'm not on drugs.), and the second being that very familiar sinking feeling at the pits of your stomach, the latter being the more often of the two.
Dad's going to Korea on the 27th and I might be tagging along, if i'm able to successfully apply for leave. =D Quote Linjie "Happy like one kind" LOL. Leave a tag, if you need anything. I'll try to get the stuff, provided i'm successful in applying for leave.
I'll be meeting many people this wednesday... People whom i've not met for a very long time, and whom i'm dying to meet again.
Insomnia isn't funny, especially if you're having duty next day. Sigh.
Where is my Lucky Star?! =(
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
3:55 PM
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Can't you see; that's the way i feel.
Urgh. Sometimes I feel like slapping myself for thinking so much about the past. And yet... Though i've told myself umpteen times that i've to let it go, in actual fact... I can't. I just... Can't.
I wished I had a chance... A chance to say i'm sorry. A chance to set things right. Sadly you gave me the death sentence.
In the past... In the past...
Stop talking about the past. In the past, policemen wore shorts didn't they? In the past, firefighters used buckets of water didnt they? Don't policemen wear long pants now? Don't firefighters have fire engines now?
I found out yesterday, that i'd had my BA facemask stolen. Genius. I guess it'll be stay home month. That god damn thing costs $800+++. Been losing so many things recently... My friends, my identity... Now, even my personal equipment?! What am I gonna lose next, myself?
Who knows.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
3:42 PM
Friday, October 19, 2007
Sometimes, it's wrong to walk away.
The extra mile isn't so long a walk after all, if you walk it for friends.
Duty tomorrow. Sigh.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
3:21 PM
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Deep into the dying day.
Good Luck to my bro Nick Yu, who's gone to Wallaby for some NS exercise.
Epiphanies come to you when you least expect them to. As I lay in bed waiting for slumber to take over, I had a sudden realisation. In the past, it was stuff like...
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"Would it have made a difference?"
"If only..."
The keyword to the last question... If. IF only I had known... I'd be a millionaire, no?
Life sure has its way of handing shit over to you on a silver platter. It's the way you accept that silver platter that matters. Either you accept it and whine like a sore loser, or you flip that platter Life was holding into His/Her/Its(?) face, and laugh like a madman.
I guess I have a knack for being at the wrong place at the right time/right place at the wrong time. It holds true for every incident that i've encountered. Incidents that have caused me to lose friends, often the closer ones. Friendship ties... Can they really be thrown away so easily? I know for a fact that I can't... I can't. Just ignore a friend no matter how shittily he/she has treated me before. I guess that's my greatest weakness. To let a person get so close... So close to the weak spot, the human heart. And allow them to hurt me again. And again. And again.
I doubt anything is irreversible, unless of course, the event is Death. Mistakes can be corrected. Heck, look, what's the yellow ribbon project for? It's the personal perspective/prejudice that gets in the way. Oh well, but whatever floats your boat.
Had a short conversation with a friend last night, that reminded me of her. From something as small as a conversation about going for a sauna. I wish things didn't have to turn out this way. I really do. The late night chats, in which you'd confide in me, and vice versa... The hunts for good food... All gone. I think you're really evil... To have walked out of my life, leaving a void in your place. Thinking of you pains my heart, still.
I remember jokingly telling a close friend once, that i'm good at bearing grudges. However I find that I had actually told the truth then. How many days, months, years has it been? Yet though the anger, the sorrow, the pain, has mellowed, I will never forget what you did. You might think i'm on talking terms with you, but I advise you to think again. I'm just being polite to avoid the awkward silence. Comprendo?
Totally random. I dont understand what i'm blogging half the time.
On a lighter note, 19 more days till the return of my Princess. Joy!
Damn ATM machine ate my card. It claimed that my pin no. was wrong (*#^%$
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
3:28 AM
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Randomness.
Finally, things are looking up... I hope.
Simple gestures such as a "Thank you for caring" can really make someone's day. Trust me, it just did me.
Surprisingly, my NS allowance isn't enough to sustain my expenses. Time to curb my spending.
On a lighter note, i've been playing "WTF: Work Time Fun" on my psp. Boy, is it fun.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
12:20 PM
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Appreciation.
Some people really don't know how to count their blessings.
At least you've got a job, a roof over your head, and you don't need to go hungry. And... You've got somebody you love/somebody who loves you. So... Quit whining.
I still blame you, for just disappearing from my life. And not informing me about it. Thanks really, thanks a lot.
Living life the way I want to? Ideally, yes. But the world is a cruel place to be in.
I think I found my Lucky Star, but... Is she willing?
Learn to appreciate, and you will open yourself up to a world of wonders.
Totally random post.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
2:05 PM