Saturday, September 15, 2007
Life Is Really Cursed.
Just when I had picked myself off the floor, someone just had to shove me in the back.
Totally, totally fed up. There won't be an end, nor a viable solution, to this matter. The coldness of your facial expression, it was the start of my understanding.
No matter. I'll hold my head high and walk the journey of life proud, even if I have to walk this path alone. I know I did the best I could. Nobody saw any of the effort I was putting in, though.
Having to hold my anger back to the brink of breaking point is taking its toll on my health. Perhaps I should not be so nice to everyone, after all. I believe i'm one who keeps my emotions in check, most of the time. But there are times when temporal loss of control is inevitable. Try me. You won't like it.
A flurry of emotions flood me as I write this entry. Uh oh, not good. The emo streak in me's coming back again.
Much as i'd like to say that the world is fair, nothing is, as a matter of fact, fair. Take for example, not everything that you've planned goes your way, but then again, what's the excitement of life, if it were so predictable? On the other hand, living seems so difficult, when some things that you expected so much of, too much of, fell right through.
Somehow, I feel so betrayed. Somehow, I felt you'd understand my intentions. Somehow, I felt you'd be there for me, no matter what happened. Somehow...
Somehow.
Yet it was just wishful thinking.
I guess it'll be some time before I trust somebody else as much as I did you. However, I do not blame you for choosing such a drastic course of action. I was a jerk, and I deserve it.
One whom I regard as a best friend once told me, "Les, real friends... Don't give up. They just don't."
Argh. I feel the tears coming. Stop for now.
I stretched my hand out,
But you slapped it away.
Why?
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
7:36 AM
