Monday, March 31, 2008
I find that most of my blog posts have been people-oriented of late.
Let's try something else, shall we? :) This time, it shall be something... Thought-provoking. I hope.
Has anybody even sat down, for a minute, to think, like, seriously think, of their future? A projection of what they'd be doing, 5 years from now, when they've graduated, what would they be working as? Would they have already started their own family? Probably, those would be the standard questions one asks themselves, when they think of their future, but those are trivial matters.
Last night, as I lay on the cold, hard floor, waiting for sleep to overcome me, I thought of the future. Not abstract, deep thought. Just... Simple. I was just thinking... If i'd still be the same person I am, 5-10 years from now. Would definitions of my inner world, stay the same? Would I still be so simple-minded, like I am, now? Would I still be 'nice'?
Much as I hate to admit it, i've come to realise, that my inner world, almost mirrors that of a child's. My inner world... I was too full of insecurities... To want to grow up. I led a life which was too comfortable to promote growth. I was... Simple-minded... In that sense.
I always felt that there wasn't any compelling reason for me to not be nice to anybody. There could be other reasons why i'm nice to people, but currently i'm still in the midst of soul-searching. Lol. The most convincing answer I thought of so far, would be that, perhaps, just perhaps, I wished somebody would be just as nice to me, too. It, however, isn't the best answer, because, it would just mean that i'm being nice for selfish reasons. So, it is an invalid answer, as of now.
It's been a long time, I hope everybody's alright.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
5:52 AM
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Sometimes... I hate being happy. 'Cos... I know for certain, that, what goes up, must come down, eventually.
也许。。 爱 在梦的另一端,无法存活在 真实的空间。
I'm.. At a loss of words currently.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
12:27 PM
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Hauntings of the Past.
I can't believe it. It's happening again. This cannot be.
It's like a nightmare replay.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
3:31 PM
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
One Final Post.
One final post, regarding you, yes you.
I wonder why I still care so much. It's been ages since we ever talked. All these months, you never bothered to find out anything about me, about my life, about anything. I guess you didnt know that every single day, I was hoping you'd call me, once again, at unearthly hours of the night, like you used to, and tell me about your problems, about what's happening in your life, or about anything. I'd have very much wanted to be part of your life, your social circle, again.
Your attitude towards me, the last time we met... It was so... Cold. Unfeeling. Curt. I wonder what was going on in your mind, at that point of time. It hurt me so much to see that coming from you, but who cares? Nobody gives a hoot about anything, unless it's for themselves. It's always the case, everywhere. Every man for himself.
I'll never believe in the phrase "you reap what you sow" anymore. Maybe it's true that you'll get your just desserts if you've done something wrong, but it's not the case, if you're trying to do something right. Similarly, the efforts I put in, to salvage our wreck of a friendship, came to nought. It proves to be a herculean task.
Since when were people appreciative? Never. People lie a lot. They never mean it when they say "Thanks a lot, I appreciate whatever you've done for me" because the moment you do something out of stupidity all the 'good things' you've ever done for them, will cease to exist.
It doesn't matter now. Nothing else matters anymore. I've stepped out of your shadow, and I don't know if I should be happy or sad. Whatever the case is, I hope you'll be happy, always. Thanks for once being my friend, I'll always treat you as my best friend, though i'm quite sure you hate my guts and never want to see me again.
I wish you love, peace and joy.
-Les.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
4:43 AM
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Stupidity.
Now, I wonder why I answered you in that manner. It was totally different from what I was thinking. I don't understand, why it's so difficult to tell a person how you really feel about him/her.
Stupidity. Plain and simple. And all I ever wanted was for you to know.
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
3:22 PM