Thursday, October 18, 2007
Deep into the dying day.
Good Luck to my bro Nick Yu, who's gone to Wallaby for some NS exercise.
Epiphanies come to you when you least expect them to. As I lay in bed waiting for slumber to take over, I had a sudden realisation. In the past, it was stuff like...
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"Would it have made a difference?"
"If only..."
The keyword to the last question... If. IF only I had known... I'd be a millionaire, no?
Life sure has its way of handing shit over to you on a silver platter. It's the way you accept that silver platter that matters. Either you accept it and whine like a sore loser, or you flip that platter Life was holding into His/Her/Its(?) face, and laugh like a madman.
I guess I have a knack for being at the wrong place at the right time/right place at the wrong time. It holds true for every incident that i've encountered. Incidents that have caused me to lose friends, often the closer ones. Friendship ties... Can they really be thrown away so easily? I know for a fact that I can't... I can't. Just ignore a friend no matter how shittily he/she has treated me before. I guess that's my greatest weakness. To let a person get so close... So close to the weak spot, the human heart. And allow them to hurt me again. And again. And again.
I doubt anything is irreversible, unless of course, the event is Death. Mistakes can be corrected. Heck, look, what's the yellow ribbon project for? It's the personal perspective/prejudice that gets in the way. Oh well, but whatever floats your boat.
Had a short conversation with a friend last night, that reminded me of her. From something as small as a conversation about going for a sauna. I wish things didn't have to turn out this way. I really do. The late night chats, in which you'd confide in me, and vice versa... The hunts for good food... All gone. I think you're really evil... To have walked out of my life, leaving a void in your place. Thinking of you pains my heart, still.
I remember jokingly telling a close friend once, that i'm good at bearing grudges. However I find that I had actually told the truth then. How many days, months, years has it been? Yet though the anger, the sorrow, the pain, has mellowed, I will never forget what you did. You might think i'm on talking terms with you, but I advise you to think again. I'm just being polite to avoid the awkward silence. Comprendo?
Totally random. I dont understand what i'm blogging half the time.
On a lighter note, 19 more days till the return of my Princess. Joy!
Damn ATM machine ate my card. It claimed that my pin no. was wrong (*#^%$
Thy Sins be Cleansed.
3:28 AM
